So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
