it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
