you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
