Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
