Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
