Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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