Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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