Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
