i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize