If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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