You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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