im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
