I love black thongs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
