belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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