So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
