can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
