we have officially lost it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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