how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
