She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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