4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
