well I can't set my house on fire every night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found your dick twin last night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
