so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
