is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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