porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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