Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
