i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
