you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
