And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
