The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
