I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
