i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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