they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
