My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
