Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he thought i was a dude.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
