People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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