Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
