Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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