why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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