I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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