Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
