We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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