So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
