Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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