I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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