I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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