Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
