i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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