bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
