dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im part way to drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
