his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
