Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my poor anus
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
