I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
