508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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