I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
