I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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