I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
