I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
