We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
